Make Unicorns Great Again (or Really, you want to read this)


I certainly have not been active in writing on this blog for the past, um, thousand months. Hello to those of you on Facebook and Twitter who are new to me. I am sorry for being a terrible writer, person, flabby piece of flesh. I have moved from one end of the Ghost Forest to the next and have been living intermediately with the In-Laws for the past thousand months (dun dun…nah, they are not bad at all. Hi, In-Laws! *waves graciously*). The Permanent Domicile of Residence (*PDR)  is in Phase 1, much like Iron Man and Captain America were in the Mahvel Cinematic Universe. This PDR has occupied much of my time, energy, sanity, and rationality.

In shambles and torn apart, I have discovered I like having to work on the PDR. Not because I don’t like living in a place that I am paying a mortgage on. No no no. I have discovered many things about me and my relationships such as (sit down. seriously):

  1. Patience
  2. Grace
  3. Humility
  4. Unending rage at inanimate objects
  5. Dread
  6. The resulting nervous breakdown one has when he can’t decide to be angry at people he’s met once or at God for only being able to see his daughter for ten minutes everyday because said strangers did a bang-up job on the house.
  7. Politics

Number 6 was a particularly bad day. We won’t recount it.

Number 7 however is the real reason for this blog post.

For the most part, I’ve stayed out of this fight. That’s what it is: not an election, it’s a knockout fight going 3 rounds. Let’s get the name-calling out of the way first. Trump is a buffoon of the lowest idiot scumlords. Hillary is a pathological hoarder of secrets. Neither of them represent me. That honor rested squarely on Obama’s shoulders (thanks Obama). My career is built on fluid definition of openness and freedom of information. Hell, I’d argue that my life’s will is grounded in these philosophies. I’ve ignored Trump because he tends to remind me of the many ignorant back-ass-ward bullies who think that their failures in life permit a worldview of racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and greed. He’s a moron and the GOP has lost me as a supporter for putting him up as a nominee so he can spread their thinly-veiled venom. It makes me sick.

But in Hillary, I have raged against with such furious tenacity that I have literally (!!) shaken. She completely proved my breathless rants on computer security and record-keeping. And yet, AND YET, I conveniently forgot how much I didn’t propose as much as a hand-slap for Romney. I unknowingly allowed a double-standard to enter my politics. As much as I am sickened by Trump’s disgraceful demeanor, I have not nearly been as vehemently against him as I was Hillary.

“Was.” Last night, I saw a woman go toe-to-toe with a man and kick some ass. She reminded me of my wife: Intelligent and prepared to take on men on their turf. Obviously there is a lot more to it than one debate but it’s elections like Obama’s 8 years ago and now Clinton’s campaign that have me turning an about face inward to realize that I still have room to grow.

My child, my beautiful daughter, will know what it’s like to have a woman for a President.

PS: If you don’t like what I wrote here, tough shit.

PPS: *public records geeks will LOVE this joke.


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